Realms of Possibility

Yet another reason why any attempt to develop a time machine should be instantly crushed.

Same Song Different Verse

Snowpocalypse Part II, Snoverkill, Snlaughter…call it what you like, I call it getting old. It began snowing again yesterday afternoon and has continued to increase in intensity. I have a sneaking suspicion that all this snow was meant for Vancouver and got lost along the way, finding itself on the East Coast rather than the West. These things happen, especially if you hold your map upside down.

I spent yesterday in my room reading for my class. All my classes have been canceled this week but because many of my assignments are due online, I still have plenty of work. I admit the snow has come with some blessings. Yesterday I was very behind in all my classes but when I woke up this morning, I found myself very much ahead in them. Being pushed back a week does wonders for staying on top of assignments.

But as I said, I spent all of yesterday locked in my room wading through books and articles. My room makes an ideal lookout point, so while my door may be closed and I am seemingly cut off from the rest of the house, very little goes on without me knowing it. This means I had the perfect vantage point for witnessing the large truck full of burley men with chainsaws pull up to our home. Reason told me these men were here to take care of the neighborhood menace firmly rooted on our property line. They backed their large truck well into our driveway and carefully navigated their crane between the electrical wires running parallel to the street and the second floor of our house. I found the whole thing very distracting and I soon set my book aside to get a better view. Watching a man lifted high into the air while holding a running chainsaw, perilously pinned between power lines and the hard place known as our house was decidedly more interesting than my book.

View from JLW's window of the work crew taking the tree out. Forgive the interference of the screen, it was out of our hands.

These men cut several branches and cleared many others that had already freed themselves from the tree, and then stopped to discuss further proceedings. They then packed up and pulled out, leaving the most problematic branch wrapped around the power lines. I imagine fear of electrocution played a key role in their decision, but it is unfortunate the problem was not addressed. I think it goes without saying that I’ll be keeping frequent tabs on said limb as it becomes increasingly weighed down by the snow.

For the most part, things here are quiet here today – except for the wind. It is roaring around our home blowing the fallen snow back up into the air where it settles along our window panes. The snow is wet and when it touches the tree limbs, it sticks. The way it lines the dark branches in white is beautiful and I do like watching the snow fall and accumulate, but I’m very content to watch it from the warmth of our home with a mug of coffee in hand. The same cannot be said from my roommate, JLW. Most of my roommates are homebodies and enjoy spending time around the house, but I think if JLW were to spend too much time here, we would witness a reenactment of a scene from The Shining. For the well being of the collective, JLW decided she would rather face record snowfall, high winds, and blizzard conditions than remain trapped here. She is currently trudging through several feet of snow to the nearest Panera Bread, just under a mile from our home. I hope I see her again one day but until then, I’ll happily remain nestled under my blankets, warm and inside.

JLW freeing herself from captivity and making her way to Panera.

Breaking Free

Day Four. Late last night we heard a knock on the door. Knowing the current unshoveled state of our walk, we were certain this was no ordinary knock. When we opened the door, Opportunity was standing there alongside Good Fortune, both disguised as electricians.

“We’re here to help you,” said Opportunity.

“Oh, are you from Dominion Electric?” asked MS.

“No, ma’am. We’re from Georgia,” replied Good Fortune.

With that, Opportunity and Good Fortune went to work saving us from the threat of electrocution.

Our freedom was at hand. While it was too late to act immediately, we were able to plot our escape. We only have one snow shovel, so we decided the fair way would be to take shifts digging ourselves out. MS made it from the front steps to the driveway before exchanging shovel for handbag and making her way to work (yes, she did have to go to work today). JW took up the cause and began work on the drive when our neighbor, JV, offered us his shovel. Tag teaming it, JW and I cleared a large portion of the driveway before BT joined us (with yet another shovel provided by JV – I suspect he has quite the collection).

We worked all morning clearing space for BT to move her car out of the tree’s treacherous grasp. When we accomplished our mission, we decided to bask in our newly gained freedom by walking down to a local restaurant for well-earned drinks and lunch.

After sharing a morning of hard work, good company and good food, the three of us returned home, tired but happy.

Opportunity and Good Fortune hard at work.

JW shovel in hand.

I believe I said something like, "I feel like a disgraced Roman general falling on his sword." Hey, I'm getting my masters in history and minored in classical studies, what do you expect?

Breaking out of our own captivity allowed us to see how the neighborhood as a whole fared. It really is something to see a city filled with Type A workaholics at a standstill.

Temporary yard art we encountered on our walk to lunch. The detail on the chicken's head is Michelangelo worthy.

The Push for Survival Continues

Day Three. We sent the dove out this morning and are continuing to await its return with olive sprig in tow. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and hope of survival is in the air. In all, it is a lovely post-apocalyptic day. We, however, are unable to partake in celebrations of survival due to our continued state of pending doom. The tree still looms hazardously close to the roof of BT’s car and the power lines have crept even closer to the ground. We have also discovered a branch leaning far over the top of five or so lines connecting pole to pole. We have been advised by the electric company to remain inside until they see fit to rescue us. This could be any day now…or sometime next week, or when they find time to do their job. Until then, I shall continue to report on life on the inside.

MS stepped outside as soon as the snow subsided to take an official measure of the snow fall. The table count was 22 inches, but we suspect we got quite a bit more based on the snow collected in surrounding areas.

Looking out my bedroom window at night fall. Beautiful, isn't it?

Joy that comes with the morning.

The sun beginning to set on the third day of our captivity.

Doom and Destruction

Day two. Twenty-six hours in and the snow is still falling hard. The streets are covered and the snow is creeping higher and higher. We are now captives in our own homes, at the mercy of nature's cruelty. I can no longer open the front door, and were we able to escape, there would be no refuge for us. The world is a barren wasteland of ice and snow. I have taken it upon myself to document our increasingly dire state so that future generations will know the horrors we have faced here this week.

Snowpocalypse Phase One

Snowpocalypse Phase Two

Snowpocalypse Phase Three

Snowpocalypse Phase Four

This morning we woke to find the tree above BT's car had snapped and was dangling perilously (i.e. one foot) above her new car. To make matters worse, it had taken our electrical line now with it. What that means for us is that any minute now, the branch could break, BT's car would suffer horribly, we would loose power, and there would be a live electrical wire stuck in the snow in front of our home. Needless to say, we have made the electric company very aware of our circumstances.


View Number 2 of BT's car.

View of the backyard this morning.

You can check out more photos here.

The Snowpocalypse is upon us.

It is true. The DC Metro Area is being slammed by what’s dubbed the largest snow storm since 1996 with an estimated 24 inches of snow and white out conditions. Virginia has been put in a state of emergency and the general public is reacting accordingly. If grocery stores are any indication of public perception, I think it safe to say there is a high probability we shall all perish in the coming of this second ice age.

I made it to the grocery store yesterday at around 12:00 when it was nice and calm. I was able to procure all needed ingredients to make chicken enchiladas and chocolate sticky buns. There were plenty of shoppers at the store, but people were calm and collected, polite and not aggressive. It is my understanding things began to deteriorate soon after. Based on accounts I’ve received from both roommates and KP, come 5:00 the grocery stores turn into a very scary place…a scary place with very nicely dressed working professionals. Don’t be deceived by their classy business suits and heels, I’m told these people can be vicious. I had a firsthand account of a fight breaking out in the Harris Teeter parking lot last night.

Fortunately, being a student has its perks. Namely, I can choose when I go to the grocery store. Case in point: this morning, I decided that should I be trapped in the house for 5 days, there were a few more necessities I should purchase. That is, a bottle of wine and a bag of coffee. I can ride out a lot given those two items. When I entered the store, it was not exactly the disaster zone I had envisioned: the meat, eggs, and milk were gone but most non-perishables were still well stocked.

It occurred to me that growing up on the Gulf Coast, I have a certain expectation for disaster preparedness. Our three big natural disaster threats were (1) hurricane (2) tornado and (3) flood. With a flood, just head for high ground and pray your house is unscathed. With a tornado, it’s really only time to panic when you see the funnel cloud descending on your home. Should that happen, either jump in the tub and pull your mattress over you or hide in an interior closet and hope you don’t end up in munchkin land. The hurricane, however, has the most elaborate measures of the three and has shaped my idea of how to properly prepare oneself for certain death.

Standard hurricane procedures are as follows:

1. Drive to the nearest gas station, wait in a ridiculously long line, yell at as many people as possible, and then overpay for your tank of gas. Proceed to step two.

2. Make your way to a grocery store (anyone will do at this point – remember, it’s an emergency). Theoretically, you will buy batteries, charcoal, dry ice, bottled water, canned goods and other non-perishables. In reality, you will buy whatever you can find, which may or may not include the last can of Wolf Brand Chili, large cases of beer, as many liters of Coke you can fit in your cart, and perhaps toilet paper for good measure.

3. You will return home to board up your windows. If you do not have boards, you have to go to the scary place known as Lowes/Home Depot to purchase boards and maybe pick up a generator and a tank of propane while you are at it (that is, if they are still in stock and you happen to be an alpha male who can manage to commandeer said items in a panicked crowd).

4. Man the fort: fill up all bathtubs full of water and any additional buckets/jugs you can muster. Make sure candles, matches, and flashlights are easily accessible.

5. Sit with your family/roommates, watch the news about the storm hitting and have a battery powered radio at the ready for when the power goes out.

Given that these steps are all I know, I keep fighting the urge to fill the bathtub and buy things like dry ice. I don’t have the system down where blizzards are concerned, and I don’t know what all preparation for being snowed in entails. I suppose it’s something I’ll learn soon enough.

Pictures of the snowpocalypse to follow.